Ain’t the Same Me

Verse 1:

Sure, my life used to be happy,

dancing under the arms of trees,

laughter filling up my lungs,

and his love rushing over me, but

that’s all changed because he’s walked away,

stealing the sun, all rainbows,

and the shooting stars

from out of my blue skies.

I was left to stand in the dark.


Chorus:

They can all say:

she ain’t ever gunna be the same,

too many shadows hiding in her eyes now,

heart barely beating, how

a shell’s what’s left, she’s been broken.

Baby, they don’t know what they’re about.

They haven’t seen the real me yet,

she’s just waiting to break out of this hell.


Verse 2:

True, it’s easy to see

I am not that silly, blind girl I used to be.

The curtains have been ripped open

to the truth he kept hidden, but that’s okay.

And I might have cried

a million tears on that first night,

but these eyes of mine are dry now,

and this heart of mine has hardened,

I’m stronger than I ever was. 


Chorus:

They can all say:

she ain’t ever gunna be the same,

too many shadows hiding in her eyes now,

heart barely beating, how

a shell’s what’s left, she is just a mess.

Baby, they are wrong,

can’t see passed the mask he made me wear.

Behind it, I’m still breathing, and I’ll break free.


Verse 3:

I will stand tall as I face it all.

There’s more to me than just his love.

I ain’t ever gunna be

just resting on my knees begging

“Come back” to that heartless man.

I found the real me again, 

the one I once let him drown.

I ain’t ever gunna return to that pathetic girl

who believed in his pretty lies, and


Chorus:

They can all say:

she ain’t ever gunna be the same,

too many shadows hiding in her eyes now,

heart barely beating, how

a shell’s what’s left, her light’s forever gone.

Baby, they don’t know what they’re about.

All I need is a moment to catch my breath,

then I will be free again.


End:

Ya, he might have stolen the sun,

but the dark I’ve never feared,

and my new home might be made there

until I find the light and chase away

those shadows hiding in my eyes.


But I ain’t ever gunna be the same,

The same young girl I was back then.

And that’s okay, because I am stronger now,

oh baby now that I am free,

and now that I’ve found me again.

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Girl In This World

Bridge:

Oh it’s damn near impossible

being a girl in this world

where perfection is expected.

No flaws, nor scars, allowed to be seen,

hide them all away, buried down, way beneath.

Don’t let anyone see you’re not the version

of everything they have deemed you need to be.


Chorus:

Ladies, to all of them, say screw it.

Be yourself, you know you can do it.

Ignore their calls,

slap demands in the face, for

they will never understand

just what it’s like

being a girl in this contradicting world.


Verse 1:

Have dark skin got to lighten it.

Pale and fair, where’s your tan girl?

Your eyes are small, learn to widen

with clever strokes of eye make-up.

If you wear glasses gotta get contacts,

yet fake glasses are considered fashion.

We are assaulted constantly

by changing orders on how to be,

or else we’ll be nothing


(Chorus)


Verse 2:

Can’t be:

too tall, too short, too skinny or fat,

too slender, to curvy, too busty or flat.

They want us to be pretty Barbie dolls

with the natural look,

such is a lie created by

layers of smeared on make-up.

They desire the sultry woman:

smokey eyes and blood-red lips,

then call us sluts, say we’re easy.

Try and make some sense out of that.

If you dress buttoned up you are

ugly and mannish, but show off some skin

and you are a whore, tarnished image.


(Chorus)


Verse 3:

They can’t decide what it is that they prefer,

the angel: all innocence and sweet,

or desire’s slave girl just waiting to serve,

expecting you to somehow be both.

If shy and timid: speak up, make noise.

Come on baby, raise your voice.

But, now, don’t be too outspoken, 

no one wants to hear your opinion,

so make sure to zip it, act dumb,

no one cares what you have to say.


(Chorus)


(Bridge)

 


End:

Oh they want the angel all dressed in red,

pure and sweet but wild in bed.

The tomboy type who walks in heels high,

 all the while wishing for

the ultra-feminine girl who’s independent,

though not too much or she’s playing at being a man.

 

They can’t choose or decide,

they’ll never make up their minds,

because they will always want what you are not.

You’ve got to tell them to screw it,

Who cares what they think,

let them judge and label, make demands,

we will just ignore.


Keeping being true to you

You are the one who matters. 

They’ll never understand what’s like to be

a girl living in this demanding world.


June 16 2014

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Shades In-between

Verse 1:

Inside every lie is a seed of truth,

an honesty better off hidden,

for if unleashed it can cause

a thousand hearts to break.

So, we keep it buried

or drape it in sarcasm and distaste,

hoping no one will hear its screams.


Chorus:

Every coin has second side,

night will always follow day,

and good can never be

without bad standing in the way.

So why do we believe

there are no shades in-between?


Verse 2:

At the heart of an insult

there might be envy or lust waiting.

The desire to have what another holds,

because we all know

everything seems better

on the other side of the fence.

We are never happy

with what we hold in our hands.


Chorus:

Every coin has second side,

night will always follow day,

and good can never be

without bad standing in the way.

So why do we believe

there are no shades in-between?


Verse 3:

Behind a smile you might find

a person broken inside,

barely hanging on

suffocating under

the weight of their self-hate.

As that smile shines bright,

hiding the truth from our eyes,

leaving us to believe

that they are truly happy.


Chorus:

Every coin has second side,

night will always follow day,

and good can never be

without bad standing in the way.

So why do we believe

there are no shades in-between?


End:

There is more than what we see,

so much is hiding just beneath

the obvious.

If only we took the time,

if only we cared enough to see,

the truth found inside the shades,

the truth that hides in the between,

the in-between.

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Listen Cupid

Chorus:

Cupid, what were you thinking,

shooting me with your love-dart?

I’m not looking for love,

thought I told you that right from the start.


Verse 1:

Too many ways for it to turn sour,

leaving me in pain,

why did you have to abuse your power?

No, I’m no coward,

hiding under covers in my bed,

just want to be careful.

“Stay away”, is what I had said.


Chorus:

Cupid, what were you thinking,

shooting me with your love-dart?

I’m not looking for love,

thought I told you that right from the start.


Verse 2:

Why didn’t you listen

when I said now was not the time

for foolish things like these endless love games?

I cannot forgive you for this crime.

Unforgivable, you got me

thinking he’s the one,

but we both know how this will end:

me crying, him saying he is done.

Chorus:

Cupid, what were you thinking,

shooting me with your love-dart?

I’m not looking for love,

thought I told you that right from the start.


Verse 3:

Cupid, next time will you just please,

listen close to what I say?

I’m not lying when I claim

all I want is to be free.

Love brings nothing but tears and pain,

so please cupid, give me space.


Chorus:

Cupid, what were you thinking,

shooting me with your love-dart?

I’m not looking for love,

thought I told you that right from the start.


Oh Cupid, what were you thinking? 

(When will you start listening)

Stop shooting me,

shooting me with your love dart.

(Can’t you see I just want to be me and free?)

I’m not looking for love (don’t want those love games)

Thought I told, told you from the start.

Cupid will you please go, just go,

(stop hurting my soul)

‘cause I’m not looking for love.









*Image found on zazzle.com

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More to Me

Verse one:

I'm more than a simple girl,

I make mistakes and I get hurt.

Sometimes I cry no reasons why,

needing to release feels warring inside my mind.

And there are days, hanging out with the girls,

we devour sweets and sob over loves gone wrong,

preferring and enjoying flicks where love will always win

Over the mess of violence and collisions.

But, this is just a piece of me.


Chorus: 

Don’t think, one second, that I'm one sided,

that there’s just one version 

of who this girl can be. 

Behind these eyes and deep inside this mind,

a thousand stories and secrets lie.

Lifting me up when days grow dark,

this heart of mine is bursting, see,

to be a bit of everything.

There is so much more to me 

than the clothes I wear and the words I speak.


Verse two: 

Ya, and some days I might play sports

then hang out with the boys,

bruised and cut from playing rough,

stuff my face with tons of junk,

and never worry about my weight

or stick to diets that I hate.

Video games, I love them all, 

and nothing is better than comic reads, 

of super heroes kicking ass.

DC, Marvel, I adore them all.

Yes, I can be the princess and still the geek. 


Chorus: 

Don’t think, one second, that I'm one sided,

that there’s just one version 

of who this girl can be. 

Behind these eyes and deep inside this mind,

a thousand stories and secrets lie.

Lifting me up when days grow dark,

this heart of mine is bursting, see,

to be a bit of everything.

There is so much more to me 

than the clothes I wear and the words I speak.


Verse Three:

Sometimes I play the dork, 

laugh hysterically just to see

what feels like to be completely 

at ease and free,

to not give a damn to the whispers

or to the stares,

to people who judge if I act weird.

Acting silly, singing out loud, and dancing around, 

tripping over my feet not caring how I seem

to anyone who is not me

for there are endless ways for me to be.


Chorus: 

Don’t think, one second, that I'm one sided,

that there’s just one version 

of who this girl can be. 

Behind these eyes and deep inside this mind,

a thousand stories and secrets lie.

Lifting me up when days grow dark,

this heart of mine is bursting, see,

to be a bit of everything.

There is so much more to me 

than the clothes I wear and the words I speak.


Oh, there is so much more to me,

so many sides,

you might think you've seen them all

turn around, find you are wrong.

You will never see

how many shades

there are of me.

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Touched My Hand

Verse 1:

For so long I thought

the good days were all gone,

this tunnel everlasting,

depression my only companion.

I grew accustomed to the cold,

feeling nothing,

I was numb, then…


Chorus:

You touched my hand,

pulled me to my feet and held me close.

Kissed my lips with tenderness.

The sun woke up,

now I am standing in the light

with you by my side, my love.


Verse 2:

I never had the chance

to build up walls to protect,

to keep you out, out of my heart,

for fear you might break it.

Well, it’s resting in your hands now,

please handle me with care.

You have all of me.


Chorus:

You touched my hand,

pulled me to my feet and held me close.

Kissed my lips with tenderness.

The sun woke up,

now I am standing in the light

with you by my side, my love.


Verse 3:

I’m so glad you caught me by surprise,

didn’t let me sabotage 

my chance happiness.

For too long I lived afraid

to trust my heart, to love,

so I hid in the dark all alone.

But now I see, the light has found me,

because


Chorus:

You touched my hand,

pulled me to my feet and held me close.

Kissed my lips with tenderness.

The sun woke up,

now I am standing in the light

with you by my side, my love.


Oh, my heart 

you touched my hand.

Now I know love again.

All because

you touched my hand.

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Back to Me

Verse 1:

Pain is what makes you, it does not break you,

Baby they were so wrong,

And all that I was has gone (forever).

What remains, this corpse you see,

Is without a soul and just a shell.

It sickens me that

These fragile bones are my own.

How did I let it get to this?


Chorus:

But I promise one day

I will find my voice and say

I’ve had enough of living

This half life.

I will begin to fight

When my eyes meet the light

Leading the way

Back to me.


Verse 2:

He said I was the one

And I let the lie become my truth,

Closing my eyes to avoid

What my heart saw, was screaming,

He was to be

The end of me.

I ignored, naïve in thinking,

He would change his path for me.

Oh how young I seemed then.


Chorus:

But I promise one day

I will find my voice and say

I’ve had enough of living

This half life.

I will begin to fight

When my eyes meet the light

Leading the way

Back to me.


Verse 3:

Now I must accept that I have made this mess,

Allowed him to smash

Me into these tiny little pieces.

I am a broken puzzle

Just waiting to be whole,

But it will only be when I find the strength

To put me back together.

Before I can,

I need to learn how to breathe again.


Chorus: 2X

But I promise one day

I will find my voice and say

I’ve had enough of living

This half life.

I will begin to fight

When my eyes meet the light

Leading the way

Back to me.


Oh baby, now I can finally see

(everything so clearly).

My eyes are opening

(to the truth).

The light has come again

And I'm singing to the sun.

(I’m warm again)

Oh yea I’ve found,

Found the way back to me!

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Avalanche

Bridge:

When did it come to this?

When did lies become the truth,

and this broken heart I hold become my own?


Chorus:

And what have I done?

What did I do,

to cause this mess, this avalanche,

that's burying me in self-disgust and heavy regret?


Verse 1

Last thing I remember was saying sorry

to the man I thought I could not love,

seeing his face, so sad and lonely

when I turned my back,

when I walked away.


Chorus:

And what have I done?

What did I do,

to cause this mess, this avalanche,

that's burying me in self-disgust and heavy regret?


Verse 2

He is the one who has moved on

while, here I am, living in the past.

Wondering where it was that I went wrong,

what decision led me off the path

to everlasting happiness.


Chorus:

And what have I done?

What did I do,

to cause this mess, this avalanche,

that's burying me in self-disgust and heavy regret?


Verse Three:

How do I make amends,

clean up the mess I have made?

How do I fill this empty space,

the place where his love used to go?


Bridge: 

When did it come to this?

When did lies become the truth,

and this broken heart I hold become my own?


Chorus:

And what have I done?

What did I do,

to cause this mess, this avalanche,

that's burying me in self-disgust and heavy regret?


Can I free myself before it’s too late?

Can I keep living with this pain?

I can't breathe.

I can't see.

This avalanche is breaking,

oh baby it’s breaking me.







*photo found on pinterest. 

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Love Will Wait

Man: 

All I fear is the end is near

Hands held out to guide me dear

To the darkened path

Where my fate’s now clear

As time drifts by

Love forever gone I fear


Woman:

All I feel is this hole in me

Where loss has grown

Taking over me

Lights have darkened 

So that I can’t see

When he was stolen

Slipped away from me.


(Chorus) Together:

Dreams, now, are dying 

Do you hear them crying?

Hearts have turn into ash

And hope is escaping fast

Torn apart

By a poisoned dart

Our souls, here, lay in shreds

Dripping blood and 

weeping dread

Forever gone

Darkness has forever 

Eclipsed the sun


Woman:

All I crave is your love to save

The broken mind I lost that day

No warmth to melt this burning ice

Metal chains wrapped tight

Around these writs of mine 

Salted drops from my eyes do drip

A face gone pale by death’s cruel grip

A blink he was gone, 

And I fall as I come undone.


Man:

All I wish are her lips to kiss

One last time to remind her of

Our lasting love, it will never fade

to hold her close is a dream I’ll keep

watching years and her grief decrease

to see her smile is all I need

to keep me patient as I wait

one day I know, again I will hold her


(Chorus) Together:

Dreams, now, are dying 

Do you hear them crying?

Hearts have turn into ash

And hope is escaping fast

Torn apart

By a poisoned dart

Our souls, here, lay in shreds

Dripping blood and 

weeping dread

Forever gone

Darkness has forever 

Eclipsed the sun


Both: 

Soon united

Love never fades

We wait

Time passes


Woman:

There he is, I can see him 

He holds his arms out to me


Man:

There she is, she is smiling

Eyes bright as she runs to me


Together:

Love can never fade

By your side, I will stay

Here with you

Once again and forever true

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